Reconstructed Mask
by eternitysky
Summary: Kurogane couldn't bring himself to hate him. [Drabble] Hints of Kurofai if you squint


Err… This is a drabble response to the events Infinity and the events leading up to it… if you're wondering what world that is, then you haven't read it.. if you would like to read it go here:

http:// groups. /TsubasaReservoirChroniclesOnlineManga /welcome. Msnw

.. remove the spaces, of course.

when I say this is a drabble, I mean this is a drabble, as I had nothing planned, and it seriously just came out of my mind.. so it really does not follow any sort of order or logic… and is slightly cheesy in my opinion.

**Warning: This story contains spoilers for chapters up to 152**

It is set after the events of Infinity…err.. yea

Well.. I hope you enjoy? I'm kind of sorry for this as it is just my therapy for the events of the recent chapters..

I have to stop rambling before this becomes longer than the actual drabble.

The first time Kurogane heard him say it, he felt nothing short of shock, concern and mild disappointment. Who knew one could get a response like that from hearing their own name. And yes, even though at the time the nicknames and the antics of the magician had been irritating, he couldn't help but admit, if only for a moment, that he would miss them. As well, the ninja knew all too well that it was a cover, a lie, a not-so-perfectly constructed mask of smiles and laughter build so that maybe this time he wouldn't get too close. To those who were not able to observe would say that the recent events had changed him. Hell, who wouldn't turn a little moody when turned into a vampire against their will and forced to live. However, he had only changed his mask. Reconstructed the broken porcelain with his past experiences as glue, and slipped it back on. It hadn't fooled Sakura, who had grown so much stronger since the departure of her so-called beloved, and it certainly didn't fool Kurogane. But it seemed that the magician was acting less and less around him, letting the mask slip off. Fewer smiles, fewer kind glances, words turned harsh and cynical. Only around him. Yes, Kurogane missed the other Fai, yet was fully aware that 'the other Fai' never truly existed, and it _had_ been somewhat of a release to see the magician get closer to shattering the mask of lies.

Yet now, he had seen the mask slip. Truly slip. For a few moments. Perhaps it was the first time the blonde didn't understand what had happened or had truly been shocked, or had felt guilty since leaving his home land.

Kurogane had every right to hate him for those moments, for what had happened, for what the magician had done. He had every right to just watch as he attempted to end his own life with the blade stained with his sins. But he couldn't. Perhaps it was because the princess still loved him, yet he was sure it was more than that. Perhaps he was not the type to go into shock or furious anger (anymore), and was able to think through situations and actions rationally. Kurogane didn't trust him, less now than ever, and it had made him sick to think that he had lied, and withheld the truth for the entire length of their journey- and no matter how he thought of it; he was now struck with a pang of understanding for the mage and for his mask-. It made him sick to think what a boneless coward he was, or just irrational, offering the sight of his right eye in exchange for having the chance to rescue the princess. It still made him angry that the blonde had so little self worth and expected others to give him little value as well, even after what he had done (which made it slightly more understandable). While he certainly didn't sympathize with the mage, Kurogane couldn't bring himself to hate him either. Because he was rational, Kurogane could understand Fai's circumstances and the curse, yet he also understood that it was Fai's _decision_ to travel with them, and that was nobody's fault but his own… And yet his very own princess sent him on this journey knowing the plans of that damned magician, Fei Wong Reed.

And thus, for that and so many more reasons, Kurogane could not get himself to hate Fai. He didn't want to hate the other man, either, regardless of what had happened. And he still had this uncontainable need to protect him, and even _help him live_. He didn't quite understand it himself, yet every time he looked at the magician; it made some sort of wild sense to him that he would have passed off as crazy maybe a year earlier.

Perhaps this was part of the lesson that his wise princess wanted him to learn.

Fin.

Well.. what did you think?

Err.. I really am sorry for this, this was more for my benefit than anyone else's… I really am not handling CLAMP's evilness well…

Criticisms are welcome


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